Teenage pregnancy is a huge problem. When I was a teenager, I was offended when adults would say my pregnant friends had ruined their lives. I felt pregnancy didn't mean they would love their kids any less, so what was the problem?
It was such a frequent occurrence in my hometown that we had a daycare at the high school that students could bring their kids to. One of my friends was able to send her daughter to kindergarten the following fall after we graduated. I thought that was great timing, she never had to put her into a real daycare.
But now, in my thirties looking back, I see what the adults of my youth were fearful of. Those teen moms often partied the hardest in their 20s. A rare gem would achieve their goals, while the others dug deep holes to fall into.
It's probably a combination of several things that caused this. The first is perception, they may have partied as hard as other 20 something's, but society holds them to a higher standard since they have little ones at home they should be taking care of. Another reason for the spike in reckless partying is the perceived lost youth. They had to grow up quickly, and many felt their youth was stolen from them. Drinking & partying was their way of regaining this lost youth & life without responsibilities. And yet another is sheer irresponsibility, they were not cautious while having sex young, they are not going to throw caution to the wind while partying either.
One such teenage Mom was my paternal cousin, *name retracted*. She had her first son at age 16. The relationship with the babies father didn't last, and before she knew it she was a homeless teen mom. Somehow she ended up with baby daddy #2, and three more kids arrived by the time she was 21. She was so desperate when she found out she was pregnant a 4th time, she went to Bush Gardens and rode roller coasters all day, hoping to miscarry. He was born with no complications a few months later. She said her birth control failed all three times with baby daddy #2. She had begged the doctors to tie her tubes when she was 19, but they wouldn't due to her age, even though she had three kids already. They finally obliged when her fourth was born.
Due to my family situation, I didn't meet her until I was 21, she was 23. She had been told I was dead, but that's another story. We both had the same job at different locations. It was sad to watch her go from a single mom success story to a homeless drunk in the course of a little over a year.
Her baby daddy #1 had never sent any support, and baby daddy #2 had tried to kill her with a knife in front of the kids.
While #2 was serving out a jail sentence, our grandmother had died, so she moved into her trailer. She had gotten the bank job because I had transferred from the branch close to her to the one closer to my home, which freed up a position she was hired for. Things were looking up for her. She even got a couple promotions.
We decided to go to the beach for Memorial Day weekend since we had Monday off. We rented a hotel for Sunday night, and she dropped the kids off at her dads.
I drove the hour to the hotel. I was still new to the area, and reserving hotel rooms online was still a fairly new thing, so I missed the fact the hotel was still a good 30 min from the beach. But at $41 a night, I wasn't going to complain. They couldn't even find my online reservation, but gave us the room anyway. We unpacked and got dressed to go out to the bar.
The popular bar in the area was Coconuts on the Beach. The larger part of the bar was on a deck on the beach, where it was near impossible to find a seat due to the crowd. *Name retracted* found a table we could both sit at after getting our drinks. A man with long scrappy hair sat next to her chatting her up while smoking a foul smelling cigarette. She was delighted at his attention.
While she was distracted with the possible beach bum, a well groomed younger looking guy started to talk to me. Turned out he was only 19 and drinking a sprite while smoking a refreshing smelling menthol. I had to ask him for a light since Amanda had misplaced mine earlier in the evening. We were having chats about society and philosophy while smoking our lungs away.
I saw *name retracted* quickly flash the beach bum her breast then start giggling as she lit her next cigarette with the butt of the last one.
*Name retracted* has gotten bored, and so had I. The place was crowded, it was hard to get more drinks or hear in conversations. So we decided to go bar hop. She invited Mr Beach Bum to go with us, so I pulled her aside.
"*Name retracted*, I'm pretty sure he's homeless."
"No, he's just a beach guy, he's not homeless."
"Ok, if you say so."
The 19 year old asked if he could tag along, and I said yes. After all, I appreciated someone else in the car who didn't slur their words. We went to a local pier that had a bar on it, but unlike the restaurant bar, they wouldn't let the 19 year old in.
We walked along the beach as a group, before realizing it was already time for the bars to close and we should just start to get to bed. I asked the guys where they wanted to be dropped off, and the 19 year olds place was closest.
I got out of the car to give him a hug and thank him for the nights conversations. He looked at me very seriously.
"Do you need me to help get him out of the car?"
"No, thank you though. He said he just needs to be dropped off at the highway a little ways up. It'll be ok."
I should have taken his offer.
"Turn right." "Take a left." The beach bum told me as I was seemingly going no where.
"Look, I'm tired, you need to tell me where I can drop you off now!"
"Can I just sleep on yalls hotel floor? I promise I'll behave."
"I knew it! Your homeless aren't you? No you can't stay on our floor! Where can I drop you off?"
"Can we at least go to Taco Bell first?"
"Fine."
I pulled into the Taco Bell that was brightly lit ahead of us. I placed my order of 2 plain soft tacos, and he wanted a couple. I asked him for money, which of course he had none. I then shook *name retracted*, who had long been passed out at this point.
"*Name retracted*, do you have a couple bucks - we are at Taco Bell."
She groaned back at me, "Make him pay for it!"
"He homeless *name retracted*, he doesn't have any money!"
She muttered something unintelligible and went back to sleep, leaving me to deal with the situation. So, while waiting for food that I ended up paying for, I started to text a college buddy who lived in the area.
'omg there is a homeless man in my car - long story - he won't tell me where I can drop him off - I don't know what to do'.
His text back was 'wtf! Come this way, I'll help.'
So I paid for the tacos, handed the homeless man two, then set off to go to the highway and head down the coast to his area. It was almost 4am when I got off at his exit. I didn't want to pull up to his place with the homeless man, and the friend was worried about that as well. I saw a hotel next to the beach, and pulled into the parking lot.
I got out, and opened the door he was sitting next to, "You have to get out, NOW!"
"Oh come on!" He retorted.
"Get out now or I'm calling the cops! You can keep that blanket your holding to sleep on." I had a habit of keeping extra blankets in my car from when I was homeless and would use my backseat as my bed.
"I bet you fuck niggers." He said as he got out.
I was so confused by his statement. I didn't know the true weight of the word 'nigger' at the time, and didn't understand how that was even an insult. Who I fucked was my own business. "Sure." I said as I slammed the car door and ran back to the drivers side and sped off.
I headed on down to my friends place, he had some weed we could smoke and after the night I had I needed that release.
He had me park across the street at an abandoned home (it was for sale). I cracked the windows and left *name retracted* sleeping in the locked car. After all, if she didn't wake up with the homeless man fiasco, why should I wake her up now?
I had to take my shoes off outside, and tip toe upstairs to the friends bedroom. We started smoking a bowl of high grade hydro & making out. But when his saliva would touch my skin any place other than my lips, it would burn slightly. Earlier in the year, while studying late, I fell asleep on his arm. That side of my face was swollen for several hours afterwards. Somehow, I was literally allergic to this guy.
We almost got to whatever you want to call the next base, but his tent wouldn't pitch. He had a pill snorting problem that ended up affecting his school work and his downstairs.
The sun came up, and I figured my cousin and I should get back to the hotel room we paid for. I went back to my car, *name retracted* was still sleeping. As I hit the interstate she woke up.
"You have fun?"
"Yeah, after I kicked out the homeless man!"
"Sorry about that. I woke up alone in that driveway and figured I deserved it."
"Yeah, that's what I figured too."
We got back to the hotel room and passed out for around 4 hours before we had to check out.
When we got up, we realized there was what looked like a bullet hole in the wall next to *name retracted", and old blood stained on her sheets. No wonder it was such a cheap motel. We got ready for the beach, packed up, and checked out.
Once we got to the crowded Memorial Day beach, I laid down and asked *name retracted* to wake me up in a little bit.
Four hours later, I woke up.
I had been sleeping on my stomach and I could see the back of my legs looked like lobsters. What I didn't see was *name retracted*. After chugging my warm Gatorade, I started packing up the towels so I could go find my cousin.
I ran into her at one of the tents close by. I complained about being left to burn and she chuckled. Then she flashed the guy we were standing next to her boobs before yelling about how she has four kids she adores.
"Can you believe I have four kids? Come kiss me."
One guy took special notice of *name retracted*, and invited us to his car to smoke. He was a senior college student with large arm muscles and abs. As we sit in his car passing a bowl, I was looking around for cops and my cousin flirted and made out with the guy. He kept asking for her phone number, but she wouldn't give it to him. She later told me he was too good for her. I felt she should have at least tried, I hated that she set her bar of self worth so low. When she wasn't drinking she was incredibly nice & thoughtful, a well rounded woman. But when she drank she turned into an irresponsible manifestation of her fears & past.
After another hour of her partying and flashing people, I had enough of my red skin burning more in the sunlight, so we headed home.
I couldn't sit down for a week because the back of my thighs turned purple. And when I cleaned out my car, there was a jizz stain on the back seat where the homeless man was.
Moral: always set an alarm while in the sun & don't go bar hopping with homeless men.
